Brain Tumor!!!

Where in the world do I begin?  It's almost a funny story... almost. But, the ending sucks. Like, really, big time sucks!

In October, Mandy (my sister who is 2 years younger than me) had a TERRIBLE headache for more than 10 days, so they sent her for an MRI.  I was worried. I prayed that it would not be a slow bleed or some sort of tumor. We all prayed hard. Our prayers were answered.  There was no tumor... just early onset Alzheimer's.   Whew!!   Wait!!  WHAT?!?   "It's probably genetic" they said.

And with the word genetic,  and our shared failing memories and hearing, I contacted my Dr for an MRI - just in case.   I told no one (except Jason), I didn't want anyone to worry.  I would just let them know when it was over that my MRI showed a clean bill of health.  My plans were made and life was moving on.

Meanwhile, the Neurologist read Mandy's MRI and assured her that she did not have Alzheimer's, just an oddly shaped brain.  Thank you Jesus!!!  That explains a few things too;)  We can laugh about it now.  In fact, I envy the laughter.  I'd give anything for silly laughter.

I have days filled with laughter.  Not the silly kind.  It's a sinister laugh.  It's a wild, chaotic, out of control laugh.  No one knows why I laugh. I sure as heck don't know why I laugh. But, I've done a lot of laughing these past 4 days.  Laughing. Laughing. Laughing.  It usually end in tears.  Occasionally it ends in howls.  The "why me?!?" kind of howls.

"Why do you laugh?" you ask.   Oh, only because I have a BRAIN TUMOR.  A bloody brain tumor.    Right there... in the middle of my brain.  In the right cerebellopontine angle, to be exact. And it's big, according to Google, it should have been removed 2cm ago.  (It's 3.9 x 1.5 x 3.3 cm) Darn you Dr. Google.  It's big enough to push on my medulla oblongata and my pons.  No need to look them up.  According to Dr. Google,

the medulla oblongata is only "the  most important section of brain".  It is responsible for all of the things we don't think about... breathing, swallowing, blinking and so on and so on.  The pons is basically the message  center between the brain and the rest of the body.  And that is your Anatony 101 for the day.  You're welcome.

The initial MRI was read to be a probable epidermoid tumor. Basically, a congenital defect that is so slow growing that it takes 20-40 years before you start exhibiting symptoms.  They account for only 1%  of all brain tumors.  Apparently, I didn't want Jackson to be the only Stringham with a rare disease.  Oh, the things we do for our kids.

So what now?  I don't have a clue.

I spent the weekend researching. I've spent today on the phone with insurance, MRI places and finding the right Neurosurgeon.  Tomorrow I have a repeat MRI, this time with IV contrast to help convince the Drs that it is not cancerous.  Wednesday I'll spend the day at CHOP torturing, I mean testing Jackson's bladder and kidneys and finally getting this gosh-darn catheter tube removed.  Prayers appreciated, by the way... this has been a very anxious 2 weeks for my little man.  The worst part, is that he has no idea what he's in for Weds, he just thinks that his tube is "coming out".  When do you tell him that it will be pulled out after blood work, ultrasounds, uroflows and urodynamics?  I've learned over the past 5 years, that there is no right time!

But, I digress.  That is where we are at.  I'm taking time off of work this weekend, mostly because I can't bear the thought of being  up all night with no one to talk to, other than Google.  Also because I just want to be held.  Held tight, maybe even squeezed.  And told that I am loved.

I'll keep everyone updated as things happen.  I'm thinking of starting some sort of blog or fb page that I can update easily without having to call/text everyone individually.  It's hard to keep responding to texts when all I want to do is sleep, I mean hang out with my kids;)  Also, my parents are in the thick of it.  Telling my mom was the hardest part, I kept imagining someone telling me this about one of my kids.  The thought of that makes me want to vomit.  Projectile vomit.  I'm sure they know that they are loved and thought of and can call any of their family if they need anything.  I guess I'm just asking that you don't bombard them with calls right now.  Besides, my mom is already prepping for Thanksgiving dinner and we would all be sad if she was distracted from her cooking.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!  There are so many reasons to be thankful!!  Jaylee making the PA All Star Rugby team, for example.  Even though she's only attended 4 practices and played a total of 5 minuets in the games!  She tried out the past 2 Sunday afternoons.  She's headed to NYC this weekend for a huge tournament. I am so proud of that girl!!

Want to play Spot The Tumor?!!?

From my studies as a Radiologist, over the past few days, I observe that the tumor did NOT glow with the IV contrast (see below picture), therefore I have decided that I do NOT have cancer, just as the Drs predicted. :)  Let's hope that I am right.

The radiologist agreed... no enhancement. There is some compressing on my fourth ventricle.

What would YOU do if you found out you had 1 week to live?  (hypothetically speaking, I'm not being dramatic or thinking I will die this week)  I thought my answer would be to travel and have an awesome adventure.  Turns out I just want to lay in bed and watch TV.  Huh...