Funny how your life can change in one day!!
Wait, didn't I say that just about 2 years ago after an ultrasound?!?
Over the past 4-5 weeks, I have not been feeling myself... very tired, unable to sleep, lacking motivation, uneasy, irritable, tearful. I saw a depression commerical that inspired me to start on Prozac. A week later, I was an anxious mess. So, my Dr. switched me to Lexapro. I took it for 3 days but still felt very anxious so I stopped it. I had been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Jackson had been stable for 4 months, and I was told that this is quite common in Mom's of chronically-ill children. So, it all made sense. I was embarrassed and told no one, not even Jason. I finally oponed up on Facbook to a group of Kidney Moms that I have never met, hoping that I was not the only one dealing with this. The very next morning, I felt a sense of "relief" when I got on Facebook and learned that I was not alone... many of the Moms have experienced similar episodes. In fact, a few Moms were thankful that I brought it up b/c they were secretly suffering too. I almost started to feel better, just knowing I was not going crazy and was not alone.
But in a mere 2 hours, everything changed. After volunteering in Jenni's class for an hour, I could not understand why I was starving... again... already. A very long red light gave me time to check my date book... whoops!!!!!! Those 3 weeks flew past, without me ever realizng that I was late!! Imagine my surprise 10 minutes later when I peed on a stick, laid it down and almost walked away without ever checking the results - expecting a single line.
Luckily Mandy was here, because I was very confused when I saw the two lines.. I had bought a box of 3 tests, many months ago and had thrown out all of the directions. So, we googled it. And then I called my Dr and then I called Jason and then I saw my Dr after lunch and then I got an ultrasound right away and then I learned I was 7 1/2 weeksalong and the baby would be born in June and then I came home to the girls drinking hot chocolate and then I handed them the pictures of their baby and then I chased down Jenni to see if she was running around in excitement or distress and then I made some calls to family and then I made a delicious dinner and then I consoled Jenni when she realized that it may be another boy and then Jenni kissed my belly goodnight and then Jennib decided we needed to have a family prayer for the baby's health and then I drifted off to sleep, EXHAUSTED.
At the moment, Jason is beaming with excitment, the girls have taken the ultrasound pictures to school (to show them off) and I've had a great morning with Jackson. I am full of excitememnt and optimism. Next week is when the baby's urinary system will form... I may have very different feelings next week... only time will tell.
I think it's a girl... Josie or Jillian maybe? Perhaps it will be a boy - will I get my Jethro? Jason would like a Jedi Stringham! I like Jasper too...
