Fear

 So we were looking back at pictures of Jackson tonight and it kind of hit me...

having a sick kid is really quite terrifying!!!

You double guess everything...

You think that any change in personality is a "problem"...

You hear things...

like about a 3 year old hearing for the first time

and you feel grateful that he has heard my voice and my HORRIBLE singing all this time


and  you hear about a 4 month old going home for the first time after abd surgery
but will live (God-willing without any difficulty)...

and you think..

is he REALLY that sick...

but YES...

he IS that sick and

yes, he DOES need you to be paranoid

and YES he does need extra special care

and you realize...

my life is not like yours...

my kid is NOT like yours...

I AM NOT LIKE YOU!!!

I AM his eyes,

his ears,

his mouth,

 his voice,

 his changes,

 his spokesman,

 his survival...

I AM HIS MOM.

I did NOT ask for this,

I do NOT want this,

but this is what I am...

it is more than I thought I could be,

it is more than I wanted to be...

I am lucky enough to hold this position

and I am grateful...

God has led me through the past years to gain knowledge through my work,

to marry a man who speaks his mind

and to learn how to speak up...

I AM JACKSON's Mom

and I LOVE every  minute of it!!!

Tough

So, Jason got a new phone and has been playing with ringtones and pix...

When we call him from the house, this is what you get...

If You're Gonna Be Dumb, You Gotta Be Tough...

(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7TcOhIhY_s8 )

Along the same lines, Jackson is fighting his second UTI...

he was acting fussy for 2.5 days and luckily his new Drs listened and tested.



Jaylee's Charity

Jaylee with her aluminum tabs that SHE collected for the Ronald McDonald House in Hershey.

She organized a contest in her class to get kids to bring them in...

and gave out prizes that were own posessions.

She also asked our neighbors and fmaily to help out.

We counted to 600 before quitting...

I estimate 1500 tabs!!!

She got to deliver them today.

I am VERY PROUD of her!
We're thinking they're worth 2 cents a piece...
$30!!!!

Jackson the Bumblebee

Apparently Bumblebees defy all sorts of odds when they fly...
In the rules of engineering and flight, it should be impossible for them to fly...

Well, as Aunt Maria pointed out, Jackson is our little bumblebee and he will always keep on flying!!!!



He's almost 4 months... such a pleasant, content baby.  He's mastered his smile and even flirts with a one-sided smile sometimes (Like his Daddy).  He's laughed a few times - once when they stuck him for blood last month and when you move your index pointer quickly towards his nose like you're going to hit him but then stop abruptly.  He's starting to figure out his hands - he definatly knows that they are his but hasn't mastered how to move them.  He's teething terribly... for the past 3 weeks he slobbers like you wouldn't believe - but he never complains.  He's rolled from his belly-to-back and enjoys tummy time.  He even "tried crawling" last night when he was on his belly.  He prefers to sleep on his belly, he has since he was 1 month old.  He enjoys quiet time in his crib each day, just watching his mobile.  He adores his sisters... he just stares and smiles at them and does not mind when they "toss" him around.  His vesicostomy has healed nicely (see below).  This week he had pink eye without the pinkness, just the gook.  The Dr weighed him at 13 lbs 4 ozs, already!  I rock him to sleep each night watching NCIS... we'll know "why" if he becomes a serial killer!!  He's my love bug.  "Jack Jack Attack" is definately loved by us all, and we are definately loved by him.

Summer

This summer is FLYING by already!!!

The girls have only been out of school for 1 week but we have been BUSY!!

We've helped Mandy move out of her house, went to Dutch Wonderland with the girls' old classmates, took Jason to Hershey Park for Father's Day, the kids explored and swam in our creek, Jaylee had a sleepover and spent the day at the pool with Katrina, Jenni had a playdate with Serenity, hot a few yard sales, Nan took the girls to a Little Mermaid play in Lancaster, Jackson has found his hands and learned how to talk our ears off, Jennibelle will soon lose her first front-top tooth, Meg gave all 3 of us girls red highlights, Jason turned 35, I've beaten Jason in our etoh-induced late night sprints around the house, Jaylee and Jackson had pink eye, we've spent many hours playing soccer in the yard and catching lightning bugs, taken many walks, and even bombarded Jason with a water fight when he got home from work yesterday.  We're now finalizing Jaylee's first trip to camp, we're making beach plans and plans for when we have visitors from Seattle.  I swear school will be here before we know it!!  Here's a few of my favorite shots so far...

 JB regretted not doing any roller coasters at Hershey Park,

so Jason gave her the next best thing!

Jason's 35th Bday.

Apparently, I need to buy some boy gift bags!

Aunt Jamie made his Seahawks onesie!

Lightning Bugs!!

Jenni still not quite brave enough to catch them in her hands. 

 Jaylee is quite the little babysitter!

MAN TALK...

Soccer Awards

And The Little Engine That Could Award goes to...

Jennibelle!!!!!



And The Team Spirit Award goes to...

Jaylee!!!!!

This soccer season turned out to be quite fantastic!!!!

Facebook

So I am back to work and get to spend countless hours on line... mostly craigslist browsing and Facebook surfing.  It left me thinking tonight:  As I added some new friends from our "new life" in Lititz... I was thinking there have been sooo many people that have come and gone... some have come again... and some are gone forever. 

It's funny how I've been addicted to Facebook for about 2 years... I was not interested in it at all but joined at the insistance of the Stringhams.  It's such an easy way to keep in touch, especially with family all over the country! 

When I frirst joined, I looked up everyone I've ever known... Brookhaven neighborhood kids, The Christian Academy classmates, Sun Valley classmates, Etown and York College buddies, Friends in Savannah, Lancaster friends, Jason's family in Seattle and beyond, and of course all of my cousins!!  I was so curious as to who was doing what!!  My "friend" list was hundreds long...

Then we got all the bad news about Jackson, and I found that it was much easier to update family on FB so I went through my Friends List and narrowed it down to family and close friends, so that I wasn't sharing all the details with people wo didn't really care.

Now, I have "refriended" many of those acquaintances and realize that I love having a large friend list:

I like reading about everyone's lives,

I like being nosy,

I like the "relationships" that have started and strengthened over FB,

I like showing pics of my fantastic kids to everyone,

I like reading when friends are asking for help or prayers,

I like seeing pix of everyone (when' I'm checking out the backgrounds to see how everyone lives),

 and I like having something to do at work!!

What I like most though, is the friends that have stayed on my friend's list since the beginning...

friends that live close by, 

friends that I only spent a year or two with but have continued to stay in touch,

family on the west coast that I've never actually met but feel like we're real friends now,

 and people from the past that I was not friends with but now feel that I am! 

What I also like is all the support that I received from people through FB when we were learning about Jackson's conditions.  It was so great to sit in front of the computer and read kind words and optimism.  It was wonderful to know that because of FB, Jackson received 10 thimes the prayers that he would have. 

So, now that I have checked FB, searched Craigslist and freecyle, and blogged, I guess I'll check my junk email account!!