Miracle

On Monday (10/25), we received a call from one of our Drs (Dr Muller) telling us that the preliminary amniocentesis results (F.I.S.H) were...

"Apparently a male fetus with normal chromosomes"

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT?!?  ARE YOU SERIOUS?!? 

Certainly she wouldn't pull my chain like that, right?!?!

My baby boy did NOT have Downs Syndrome, Trisomy 13 or Trisomy 18!!!

BUT... Now what?!?  Where did that leave us?!?

So many new questions arose... so many new theories.

We returned to Geissinger Med Center on Tues (10/26) afternoon.  We first met with Dr Muller again who reveiwed the NORMAL F.I.S.H results again, as well as his kindey funtion tests... some were a little elevated, but none indicated that Jackson's kidneys were beyond repair.  She explained that the Drs reviewed my case the night before, with all of the results, and wanted to proceed with placing the stent into Jackson's baldder...   

things took off from there...

Pre-Op consents, Nurses H&Ps, Drs exams with H&P, Pages of paperwork, and then the walk to their Procedure Room...

It seemed a lot more sterile and intimidating than it did last Fri when we had our first procedures!!!

Jason left my side for 5 minuites to update our families and the nurses kept me busy getting things rolling.

Jason returned just as Janelle, our original US tech from last Thrusday arrived.  She brought along another US tech who they wanted in the room to observe, since ours was "not a typical case".

After lubing up my belly, we got to see Jackson...

ALIVE, KICKING, SQUIRMING...

what a relief!!!

She showed us that his bladder and kidneys were still enlarged, exactly like we expected.  But when we asked if the hydronephrosis had improved or not, she declined to answer, saying that the Drs would be in shortly...

Our hearts sank.

The nurse had forgotten the med room lock code, as she disappeared to retrieve my meds, the Social Worker/Grief Counselor came to talk with us.  We were well aware of all of the risks involved with this preocedure, as well as the risks of his developmenting body.  As she talked, the realization that the air of the room was not optimism anymore became quite apparent.  She recorded Jackson's heart beat from the US machine and placed it in a Teddy Bear... "So that you'll always be able to hear his heartbeat!"  Though I spoke of how the girls' would love it, I knew that she was telling me that they believed I wouldn't hear his heart beat for much longer.

Dr Maslow interupted the nurse again, from starting my IV and "sleepy" meds, so that he could peak at my placenta via US machine to see where their best point of entry was...  He seemed confused... eventaully called the US tech back into the room to make sure the settings were correct... then he had the nurse go get Dr Muller "Right Away!!"  They played with the US machine on my belly, spoke softly (though we could hear bits and pieces) and then he turned to us.

"I'm not going to do this procedure!"

Neither of us breathed.

"I can NOT explain this" he continued.  "Perhaps God has intervened."  We still were confused.  "Your baby is peeing!" 

NO WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He took us through a journey of Jackson's body on the US screen...

His bladder (which was 7 cm diam on Fri) was now only 1 cm.

His Hydronephrosis was still present, but not as obvious.

His pericardial effusion was shrinking.

And it was all without physiological explanation.

I remember my mind humming "Our God Is An Awesome God."

Tears fell from my cheeks as my prayers lifted to Heaven.

Dr Maslow and Dr Muller continued to explain everything to us... Jackson is in no way out of danger...Hi a bladder is still twice as large as it should be, his kidneys are still swollen, there is still fluid around his heart, and there still is thinkening to his skin on the back of his neck (nuchal buckle).  But, things seemed to be imrpoving.  They want to see me in 6 days for another US.  They stressed that when I come, I should be prepared to have the surgery done that day.  They said that they expect his bladder to fill again, simply because this seemed too good to be true.  They cancelled my appt with the perinatal cardiologist and said we will reschedule with him when we need to... IF we need to. 

As we were gethering our things and signing out, we could hear all of the Drs and Nurses and US techs gathering and looking at our pictures and discussing it.  We weren't the only ones crying.  And then Dr "Uncle Eric" Smith came up from behind me and gave me a hug...
I truely believe that God sent us to this man.

Monday can't come quick enough, we are scared, nervous, excited, and apprehensive. 
What does our future hold? 
Atleast for now, we both have a feeling of peace...
***********************

Here's his bladder on Fri (10/22) before they emptied it.
(The huge black circle in his abd on the left)

Here's what the Drs saw in the OR on Tues (10/26)

(You still see a smaller black circle on the right side)

 ***********************

Good News

Usually I love to be on roller coasters!! BUT not when it is the one we've been on for 6 days!!! I am ready for this ride to be over!! I had my first real breakdown this morning. It started when I yelled at Jaylee without any hint of love or compassion - and that is something that I have to live with for the rest of my life. I have begged her to forgive me, but she is 7 and I know she is too young. I hurt her badly and that only makes everything else worse! My heart is broken for so many reasons.

I hadn't felt Jackson move since yesturday and had my first feeling of gloom and despair. I hate to "write this out loud" but I was sure he had died. I didn't know how to handle it... how do you tell your husband that you think his son is dead?!?!? So, I just cried and cried and cried. Today is the day we were waiting for our results.

I only left Jason's side for 90 mins today, and of course that is when Dr Muller from Geissinger's Maternal Fetal Medical Center called with the results. I was terrified when the phone rang!!! Jason's Mom and I were out getting our nails painted. The Dr said (with a hint of surprise in her voice) that the initial chromosomal abnormality test (F.I.S.H. test) was...
NORMAL!!!!!!!!
I simply could not believe it!!!! Then she ran through all of the urine analysis results... only two of the electrolytes that they tested for were actually too high than we were hoping for... the others were "safe" but nearring that "danger number". She kept saying that we are NOt out of danger, but that his urine results were "pretty good". She wants us to meet with her and Eric Smith tomorrow and we will come up with our plan and have another US to see how big his bladder is. It sounds as though they want to transfer us to CHOPS to have a stent placed. But like I've said so many times, things are constantly changing!!! We see them tomorrow at 1pm... I am sooo excited to see them this time!!!

There is still a chance that the official 10 day amniocentesis test may find a chromosomal abnormality but very unlikely at this point. I know, without a doubt that God is in control and that this is a result of everyone's praying and Jason's family fasting on Sunday.

The girls were happy when we told them, but were more excited to play with Grandma:)

frustration

So many thoughts whirling in my head... where to start?

Doesn't matter, I'll type in circles anyway!!!

We've seen a total of 4 specialists... and now have 3 different theories. Yest (10/22) I had an amniocentesis done to check for chromosomal abnormalities (Down Syndrome, Trisomy 13 etc..). Then they used another needle and withdrew FORTY-FIVE mls of pee from his bladder. It had grown from 4 cm across on Tues (10/19) to 6.5 cm across yest. It is called a "Keyhole Bladder". They will test his urine to see how well his kidneys are still functioning, or if the back-up of urine destroyed them. If they are funtioning (which we are hopeful, since he was making more pee) he will have a stent placed in his bladder sometime in the next few days. Here's a helpful link: http://www.chop.edu/service/fetal-diagnosis-and-treatment/fetal-diagnoses/lower-urinary-tract-obstruction-luto.html  Jason kept asking if it was painful... just very nerve racking and it felt SO WEIRD!!!! I know I kept saying to him that it was VERY UNCOMFORTABLE. These tests will take 3 days for the preliminary results and atleast 10 days for the final results. This will be a long weekend!!!

The first Specialist (Dr Peisner, Maternal Fetal Medicine in Lancaster) read our initial ultrasound (Tues 10/19). The US tech told us that we had a boy but followed it up calmly that is bladder looked a little large and she wanted the Dr to check it before we left. We started texting everyone full of joy, when the Dr came in and dropped the bomb on us. He explained that the baldder/kidney issue was totally a fluke and that Jackson's thick nuchal buckle and the fluid around his heart were a result my virus last month. He felt that the babay was probably anemic and would need a blood transfusion. He wanted us to go to CHOPS the next day, but instead we spent the day fighting with our insurance!!!!! Our Geissinger Health Insurance decided it would be best for us to see a Maternal Fetal Medical Dr at Geissinger Medical Center first...

So Thurs (10/21) we met Dr Eric Smith at Geissinger's Maternal Fetal Medical Clinic. He made us feel confidant that we were receiving the best care and that we could trust him. He referred to himslef as "Uncle Eric" while doing our US. He took us step by step with the US machine showing us what was wrong and what was right... made us feel more optimistic. He measured Jackson's bladder at 5cm with no increase of hydronephrosis and felt comfortable with us waiting until Monday (10/15) to return and have a stent placed. He called us later that night saying that he spoke with his partners and felt more comfortable with us returning the next day to have the amniocentesis and have Jackson's bladder drained. Devine Intervention?!? I was crushed at first, thinking that he was now blowing off the idea of a stent and that they were giving up on my son. Jason was much more optimistic saying that he truely believed God had changed "Uncle Eric's" mind, and Jackson's kidneys may not have survived until Monday. The Drs believed that Jackson's problems were all related and were a chromosomal abnormality (more likely Down's). They did tests on the blood flow to his brain and ruled out the possibilty of anemia, so blood transfusion are now not part of the plan. Oh how things change sooo quickly!!!

Here's the US that shows his bladder is HUGE... the big black bubble in is abdomen...

Makes you wonder where in the world his other organs are, there seems to be no room!!

So, yest we returned to Geissinger and had the procedures done. Luckily it was done when it was... his bladder was even bigger and I truely believe that God has led us to the right Drs at the right time.

One thing everyone can agree on...
HE'S A BOY!!!

Luckily, Grandma Stringham is flying in tonight and the kids are ecstatic... their mind is off of their sick brother and focused on her arrival... yeah for them!!!

So now we wait...

Jackson Lee

Jackson Lee Stringham

Love his name, love his kicks, love his flips, love his little ultra sound smiles, love his little curled up legs that kept us wondering for 3-4 minutes if it was a girl or boy... LOVE HIM.

Love his big sister Jenni that talks to him through his belly everyday.  Love his big sister Jaylee that was so excited to take his ultra sound pictures to school today.  Love that they are excited for a brother.

Hate that there are problems with his bladder.  Hate that I got sick and got him sick and now he will need blood trnsfusions.  Hate that he will be prodded with needles.  Hate that we don't know what we're in for.  Hate that we have to drive to Philly to see these Drs. Hate that my husband is devesated and that I can't fix it.  Hate that my kids know something is terribly wrong and I can't explain it well enough to them.  Hate that I am crying. 

Love my family that has been so supportive in the last few hours.  Love my close frineds that I know I can call with any needs.  Love my husband for comfortin gme when i know he is broken inside.  Love that there things that can be done, even when he is in me.  Love that everyone I know is praying for our family right now. Love that crying actually seems therapeutic.

Hate that I can't fix this.

Baby #3 Kicks!

Last night, (10/13/10) when I was 17 weeks and 5 days pregnant, my third baby decided to let me know he was really in there....
kick kick kick kick flip punch kick kick kick...

SO EXCITING!!!!

I thought that I may have felt him last week and even the week before but who knows...

could've been gas, intestinal spasms, or my mind playing tricks...

BUT LAST NIGHT IT WAS THE REAL DEAL!!!

Can't wait until everyone on the outside gets to feel him kick too.

But for now, I will savor it all to myself!!

We have a countdown and some friendly betting going on here at our house.
Our Ultrasound is in 5 days...

Mama and Jaylee say it's a boy

Daddy and Jennibelle says it's a girl

Losers treat to ice cream!!!!!!!
**UPDATE...  Everyone had a chance to feel the baby's tiny movements tonight, from the outside of my belly... 10/15/10.  Jenni was the most impressed, thinking that it was NEAT!!!**

As we are getting ready for Halloween this year, I found myslef getting confused as to who was what each year. So, here's a run down for my poor memory...

Hopefully, I'll find some pix from 2003 after we move b/c they are already packed up!! Then I can scan them onto the computer (Jaylee was a bee, FYI)

2004

Jason:  Bee

Jenn: Bumblebee

Jaylee: Flower

2005

Jason: Darth Vader (He's in the back of the pic!!)

Jenn: Witch

Jaylee: Dinosaur

Jennibelle: Pee in a Pod

2006

Jason: Wolf

Jenn: Little Red Riding Hood

Jaylee: Tinkerbell

Jenni: Pink Fairy

2007

Jason: Prisoner

Jenn: Cop

Jaylee: Supergirl

Jenni: turrtle

2008

Jason: Army Dude

Jenn: Butterfly

Jaylee: Princess Witch (?)

Jennibelle: Penguin

2009

Jason: Army Dude

Jenn: Army Dudette

Jaylee: Genie

Jennibelle: Witch - She was supposed to light up but her dress broke on the way to Poppop's!!

 This was the girls' first year with Morgan!!

busy busy

The house is now "Under Agreement".  It went on the market in August.  After 1 price reduction and 2 walk throughs, we accepted a low-ball offer. 
Now we're just hoping the bank accepts it and we can move on to our next adventure...

Just not sure where that will be yet...

Jason may be promoted in Harrisburg OR Balitmore!!

Jennibelle is LOVING Kindergarten.  And Jaylee seems to enjoy 2nd grafde.  It is still not a fight to get the girls up each morning, and they get off the bus happy and awake each afternoon.  I not volunteer every Thursday morning in each of their classes.  Last Thursday was my first time in Jenni's class... her face was beaming and she kept telling everyone "That's my Mom!!"  Boy did she make me feel great!!!  I got to listen to kids in Jaylee's class read... I honestly didn't know she could read so much already!!!

Jaylee scored her first soccer goal this weekend... I was yelling and cheering and sooo proud of her.  I must have been louder than I realized b/c Jenni seemed really embarrassed!  Mandy and her family got to see it too... then we all celebrated at Dairy Queen.  Of course, Jaylee had to call grandma to fill her in on her exciting day.  Breaks my beart that we all don't live close by!!

 

I took the girls and Morgan to buy pumpkins Fri night... Morgan loved every pumpkin we showed her!  Jennibelle quickly found the one she wanted and then spent every second keep track of Morgan.  50 minutes later, Jaylee had found the biggest and roundest pumpkin there... almost 30 lbs!!!!!!  We are all excited to carve them in a few weeks.  We bought a teeny tiny pumpkin for Cole and even picked one up for "Baby Jackson".  We have our official ultrasound on October 19th!!!!!!

Jennibelle is back in gymnastics and doing very well.  She has really improved and can do a handstand now (if only for a split second)  as well as pretty-good cartwheel.  She enjoys climbing the rock wall and getting on the horse.  She has definately mastered her "butt bombs" on the trampoline!