Usually I love to be on roller coasters!! BUT not when it is the one we've been on for 6 days!!! I am ready for this ride to be over!! I had my first real breakdown this morning. It started when I yelled at Jaylee without any hint of love or compassion - and that is something that I have to live with for the rest of my life. I have begged her to forgive me, but she is 7 and I know she is too young. I hurt her badly and that only makes everything else worse! My heart is broken for so many reasons.
I hadn't felt Jackson move since yesturday and had my first feeling of gloom and despair. I hate to "write this out loud" but I was sure he had died. I didn't know how to handle it... how do you tell your husband that you think his son is dead?!?!? So, I just cried and cried and cried. Today is the day we were waiting for our results.
I only left Jason's side for 90 mins today, and of course that is when Dr Muller from Geissinger's Maternal Fetal Medical Center called with the results. I was terrified when the phone rang!!! Jason's Mom and I were out getting our nails painted. The Dr said (with a hint of surprise in her voice) that the initial chromosomal abnormality test (F.I.S.H. test) was...
NORMAL!!!!!!!!
I simply could not believe it!!!! Then she ran through all of the urine analysis results... only two of the electrolytes that they tested for were actually too high than we were hoping for... the others were "safe" but nearring that "danger number". She kept saying that we are NOt out of danger, but that his urine results were "pretty good". She wants us to meet with her and Eric Smith tomorrow and we will come up with our plan and have another US to see how big his bladder is. It sounds as though they want to transfer us to CHOPS to have a stent placed. But like I've said so many times, things are constantly changing!!! We see them tomorrow at 1pm... I am sooo excited to see them this time!!!
There is still a chance that the official 10 day amniocentesis test may find a chromosomal abnormality but very unlikely at this point. I know, without a doubt that God is in control and that this is a result of everyone's praying and Jason's family fasting on Sunday.
The girls were happy when we told them, but were more excited to play with Grandma:)
5 comments:
Wonderful wonderful wonderful news. I am so relieved. I seriously kept sneaking my phone out in my classes today to check Facebook for updates! Love you all, love that miracle baby!
And, as always, we WILL keep praying!
I'm so glad we got some good news for you. We're still praying for the little guy!
You have been on a roller coaster for sure!!! Don't worry about Jaylee, when she is a teenager, she will probably need a little forgiving herself! Jaylee has big heart and I think she understands more than you realize!! We know there is still a long road ahead for you and Jackson!! We will continue to pray that he and you receive the best of care. Like Jason said, "Jackson is a fighter!" You are amazing for all you are going through!! According to your facebook comments you had soooo many people praying for you both and there is power in prayer!
I promise that Jaylee is not scarred for life. You are such a great mom and she knows how much she is loved. Being able to say "I'm sorry" is such a great thing too.
So, so, SO glad to keep hearing all the good news. We will keep praying that baby Jackson continues to do well.
That is great news. We hope and pray that everything will work out the way it is meant to. You all are in our prayers.
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